March has finally come to an end, which means one thing: my Twitter hiatus is OVER.
I’ll be honest, sticking to the hiatus was harder than I expected. I knew I was erm, addicted somewhat, but not to the extent I thought. Day one was fine. Days two through twenty-something were frustratingly boring, especially at my dayjob. Probably 90% of the news I intake – be it publishing/writing, politics, pop culture, etc. – comes from Twitter…which means I was pretty much in the dark for a whole month. Totally not fun, so if I ever make such a pact again: TALK ME OUT OF IT. Moderation, yes; complete blackout, no.
That said, NaNoEdMo went really well. I logged over 66 hours of revising time, completing four chapters in the process. I *gasp* actually enjoyed revising for like…a whole week. Coincidentally that was the week where I revised 49 pages in total (one of them a 15 page day!). So as much as I hated being away from Twitter, clearly it had some benefits.
In terms of progress, I’m down to the last three chapters. I’m expecting to have to rewrite at least a couple scenes in one of them, because the language is practically gibberish compared to the images I’m trying to convey. The final chapter needs just a little bit of smoothing. If everything goes better than expected *crosses fingers* draft 3 will be done in the next two weeks, and I’ll have enough time to go back for another pass before sending it off to betas at the end of the month.
Also during the hiatus…
I came across Tim Clare’s “Couch to 80k” podcast and am loving it so far. Like the site suggests it’s not just for people who want to take an idea they have and turn it into a book, but for those already writing who are burnt out or struggling with a block/anxiety.
Seriously, it’s awesome. Let me get personal for a second: I have a difficult time with writing prompts. I don’t fare well going to writing meetups unless they’re with my main set of writing friends, or the critique group I’ve belonged to for four years. I always feel this giant pressure to perform or produce and it locks me up. I’m a wording perfectionist in front of others, so trying to produce something on the spot that feels “good enough” is a struggle. Taking steps to better my mental health has helped, but those feelings aren’t gone.
However. In two weeks of exercises I’ve written:
- A fun Loki/Thor brotherly fanfic snippet
- Possibly the start of a short story, taking an early prompt (picking an “interesting object in a character’s bag”) and adding a strong emotional tone
These may not seem impressive or anything to be happy about, but to put it in perspective – the last time I wrote fanfic was pre-college, during my online forum-based rpg days. And the last time I had a short story idea, let alone tried to write one, was probably close to three years ago.
The freewrite exercises during gave me freedom to play around with, well… anything and everything. I dabbled in poetry. I ranted a little about politics. I wrote meaningless vignettes. Exchanges that may or may not happen further down in the urban fantasy series.
It seems like such a small, no-brainer thing to give ourselves permission to write freely for no one but ourselves, without judging the words or where our head/heart lead us in the idea – but it’s not. Not when you have deadlines, imposter syndrome, a nasty inner critic, or some combination of those three. They don’t even have to be contracted deadlines! The way we compare ourselves to others to measure and define our success is so, so harmful. We [writers] need to remember that we are our, essentially, our own first readers. Forget everyone else; we should be happy with the story, ideas, characters, etc. ourselves, even if it’s not perfect on the page yet.
If you need permission to do that, to find self-satisfaction in your writing, to let your imagination free to roam and get dirty and fuck up – you have it. You have permission – more importantly, encouragement – to do just that.
So yeah, give the podcast a listen. It hasn’t banished my writing blocks or anything like that, but I’ve seen so much potential in just taking 10 – 20 minutes a day to let my mind wander and see what it comes up with.
I also want to talk about falling in love with BTS, but I think that deserves its own post (or Twitter thread, at the very least). You’ll just have to wait for all that fangirling. Until then, HAPPY APRIL!